——
“Mr. Thidwick—”
“It’s Doctor.” Milton adjusted his glasses, puffing his chest out.
The board of judges looked between themselves. They were big heads, for the most part. Scientists with failed hypothesizes or that had never gotten tenure. But this one—
“Right, yes, Dr. Thidwick.” She had introduced herself as Joyce Barrett. No doctor or professor in front of her name. That was something Milton was not expecting. “When we posted this contest, we were looking for a marvel of science. Something that the world of genetic research has never seen before.”
“Which I have delivered, yes.” He gestured to the covered cage next to him.
A man, Professor Cordes, if Milton remembered, sat up. “You have to understand, son, it’s just not what we’re looking for.”
“Don’t call me son. And how isn’t it what you’re looking for? You said Sharkosaurus, and I delivered.”
“It’s rather small, isn’t it?” Joyce said.
“Rather—excuse me?” Milton pushed his glasses up.
“Usually,” a scrawny doctor, whose name escaped Milton, said. “when one says “Saurus” at the end of something, they expect it to be, ahem, larger than a dog.”
“I’ve genetically crafted the perfect hybrid between a mako and an extinct species! And you’re complaining because it’s smaller than you thought?”
“We thank you for your time, Mr—”
“Doctor!” Milton cut Cordes off before he finished.
“Mr. Thidwick. Now, please, show yourself out?”
***
“That was all that happened?”
Dash lounged on the couch, popping Jalepeno Poppers into his mouth. He watched as Milton walked into the kitchen.
“What, what do you mean “That was all that happened?” They rejected me!”
“I mean, yeah, you’ve mentioned. Around fifty times.”
“It’s bullshit! I created a genetically unique creature, just like they wanted! Do you have any beer?”
“You’re underage, I can’t let you drink.”
Milton peaked his head out from the kitchen. His black hair dripped with water.
“I need a drink, Peterson. Don’t test me.”
“Did you dunk your head in the sink?”
“No, I was talking to Joey.”
Dash stopped mid-popper bite. “Joey?”
“Yeah.”
“You did not bring your tiny shark-rex here.”
“What? No!”
“Milton.”
A large splash came from the kitchen. Dash let his head fall into his hands.
“I stopped here before I went home! I couldn’t just leave him in the car, I’m not a savage.”
With a resigned sigh, Dash pushed himself up off the couch and pushed past Milton into the kitchen. There, sitting in a moderate sized aquarium (he was convinced this was the same one previously used to try and create a living organism out of yogurt), was Joey. He scrabbled against the glass with very tiny arms, a series of bubbles coming out of a mouth full of very large teeth. Milton tried to push his way in front Dash, but was quite easily held back by the man nearly two feet taller than him.
“Milton.”
“Yeah?”
“Can it breathe under water?”
Milton finally pushed his way in front of Dash. “What? Of course he can! I’m a twenty-year-old with a doctorate, I think I know what I’m doing!”
“I don’t see what that at all has to do with the fact that this thing’s gills might be broken, but whatever.” Dash went to the fridge and grabbed a bag of chips from the top of it.
“Do you honestly think I’d make a mistake like --?”
Some scrabbling cut Milton off, as Joey worked his way out of the aquarium and fell with a thud to the kitchen counter. The shark-mix whimpered, before letting out a low “Grrrrr…”
“Milton—“
“Dash, don’t freak out he’s harmless—“
“There’s a fucking shark-dinosaur-thing on my goddamn kitchen counter!”
Milton scrambled, picking Joey up in his arms. “Look, it’s no problem, he’s 100% harmless. Just, like, look at him!”
Dash hated to admit, but the tiny semi-shark snuggling into his friend’s arms was actually a little cute. Joey had stopped growling the second Milton had took him up in his arms, and… was that purring? No, it had to just be Dash’s stomach. That was it. Shark-dino-hybrids don’t purr. Right?
“What are you going to do with him?” Dash threw more chips into his mouth. “You lost the contest, and I’m pretty sure you can’t have pets at your place.”
“I don’t know.” Milton stroked the back of Joey, scratching right behind his fins. “I was hoping to win the prize, you know? That $50k would have been nice…”
“Well, can’t help you get $50k. And you already owe me big time.”
“Look, I apologized for that time you almost died, and I’ll get you back, once I get the money.”
From the other room, the quiet droning of the TV caught Dash’s ear as it switched to a very recognizable theme song. “I wanna be the very best…” His eyes widened, as he glanced through the doorway, to the TV, to the tiny… practically “pocket”-sized monster in front of him.
“I’ve never seen you think so hard, there, Peterson,” Milton said, cocking his head. “What’s up?”
“Listen, firstly, I should not be encouraging you, because you could just move on and do something fucking normal for once. But, if it’ll make you happy… and rich… I have an idea.”
“Just spit it out, what?”
“Listen, Pokemon is huge again, because of Pokemon Go and everything, and here you are… creating something that’s practically one of them. People don’t want virtual reality anymore, they want… reality reality, you know?”
Milton’s eyes were wide, his petting ceased. Instead of focusing on Dash, he was completely zoned into his own world.
“I mean,” Dash continued. “you’ve already made one, making more can’t be that hard?”
——